31 Funny No Soliciting Signs That Will Make Sure People Don’t Knock On Your Door

We’ve done it again, this time with a list of funny no soliciting signs that will surely make you laugh. You may have seen a “no soliciting” sign here and there and wondered what it meant, what is soliciting, who does it, and who do they do it to, you know, before you start laughing, why not learn a thing or two.

Keeping solicitors away can be as easy as putting up a sign. People usually put up “no soliciting” signs to request (or even demand!) not to be disturbed by solicitors. But where you place the sign and what it says can make all the difference in how effective it is. 

  • Be sure to put your sign where solicitors can immediately see them. This can be in your yard, around your property, or right on your front door. 
  • The content of your sign will also matter. Boring “no trespassing” or “no soliciting” signs might not get the message across. 

So what should you do? Add a bit of humor, of course!

Here is a big list of funny no soliciting signs that you can take inspiration from.

Funniest no soliciting signs we found

1. These homeowners seem to have done everything, from believing in Jesus to buying all that they need. So solicitors, just go away!

via Rivers Edge Products

2. So many solicitors have come through these homeowners properties that it’s beginning to get difficult to hide the bodies… beware.

via Ranker

3. Carlos the burrito guy is the only one allowed in these parts.

via Ranker

4. If solicitors aren’t afraid of the mister in the house, then they had better be scared of the missus!

via Oddity Mall

5. Just please don’t make it awkward anymore, these people have had enough of weird introductions and rejections!

funny no soliciting signs
via Red Bubble

6. This home, on the other hand, welcomes solicitors! The catch is that they charge $20 per minute of soliciting.

via Amazon

7. Unless you’ve got wine or are prepared to do some laundry, then you better not try to do any soliciting at this residence.

via Comfort House

8. No soliciting is allowed here. Just ask the dog – he hates strangers.

via Honeydew Gifts

9. Please just don’t ring the doorbell anymore.

via Custom Signs

10. Nobody is allowed to solicit here except girl scouts, Amazon, and wine delivery. Otherwise, meet their pet tyrannosaurus rex!

funny no soliciting signs
via Custom Signs

 

11. These homeowners are obviously Star Wars fans, and they do not want you soliciting on their property!

via Cults 3D

12. Some solicitors are straight up crazy, so these people would like you to sell your crazy somewhere else!

via Ranker

13. This is straight up dangerous for solicitors and trespassers! Beware.

via DC Urban Mom

14. Hiding is tiring work too! Please stay away.

via Small Shop Discovery

15. No soliciting unless you have thin mints. That’s our policy!

funny no soliciting signs
via Bouncy Mustard

16. If you insist on soliciting and trespassing, then it’s time to assume that you’re a danger to my home. Get ready to face the consequences.

via Wayfair

17. Everything you do will get caught on this home’s camera system. So don’t even bother soliciting!

via Ubuy

18. Nah, we’re good. No thanks to you.

via Etsy

19. Here’s another dangerous property for solicitors, and they double tap to make sure violators won’t survive!

via Ebay

20. If you ignore the sign, then the homeowners have every right to ignore you. That’s just the way it is.

via Ranker

21. Here’s another home with an even higher rate per minute of selling!

via Etsy

22. Ammunition is expensive these days, so solicit and trespass at your own risk.

via Ali Express

23. Beware. Just beware.

via Ali Express

24. This person just doesn’t care anymore, as long as solicitors don’t step foot on his property. Please, go away!

funny no soliciting signs
via Amazon

25. Nobody can do any soliciting here unless they’re kids!

via Etsy

26. Here’s what “go away” really means for this household!

via Ebay

27. Solicitors and trespassers ought to heed this warning.

via Amazon

28. No soliciting, no questions, no nothing!

via Ebay

29. All these things will happen if you decide to solicit at this home: an angry homeowner, an angry dog, and a bad situation!

via Etsy

30. Unless the house is on fire, there is a package for delivery, or the homeowner has won the lottery, then you as a solicitor better not ring that doorbell!

via Ranker

31. This sign is a subtle way of saying “Please don’t knock… or else.”

funny no soliciting signs
via Ranker

What is soliciting

via Fulcrum Resources

Soliciting is basically asking or trying to get something from someone. Sometimes you’ll see this in movies as door-to-door salesmen trying to sell homeowners something or people from religious groups attempting to spread the word.

Solicitors usually sell tangible goods or services, whether it’s stuff that’s actually useful or other gimmicky products. They can also sell intangible things, such as insurance policies or services like lawn clean-up. 

The thing is, not everybody wants to deal with these solicitors. And unfortunately, homeowners are very attractive communities for a lot of commercial, religious, and even political solicitors. There are even laws in different places regarding soliciting, whether it’s none at all or some that are allowed.

Solicitors may be welcome in some homes, but it seems that the majority of homeowners just want their privacy to be respected – and who can blame them?

If you’re still looking for a good laugh, check out this list of hilarious business signs and this list of funny out of order signs to keep you going.

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